So, it is technically Day 23, and I am going to try to get caught up, in a most entertaining fashion, but most of these topics suck. I will do my best though. Well, not my best. I cannot promise I will try to do my best. But I will try to try. Maybe. Depending on how many more drinks I have before starting the next paragraph:
Day 17--An Art Piece
I think it is fair to say, that only one art piece has ever truly moved me to tears. It shows the frailty of the human condition, the emptiness of a lonely person's soul, the weakness and desperation of the human form. And of course, very small genitalia. I am speaking of course, of Marge Simpson's Famous Painting of C. Montgomery Burns:
So, I may have only chosen this because there is no screenshot of Marge's also nearly famous, "Bald Adonis." Which is unfortunate. It is almost as disappointing as the fact that my girlfriend has never called me Bald Adonis. Because it would be hilarious. Speaking of the woman, someday soon, I am sure, one of her pictures will surpass Marge's ghost-painted works. Just yesterday, we went to an art store, where she drooled over everything (in a cute way). She used to paint and draw and stuff, but has not in quite sometime (at least since she met me, I am guessing well before as well). But we went to an art store and she picked up some drawing pencils and some pastels, and even drew a little something last night. She would not let me look at it, but it looked pretty good to me, before she ripped it up and threw it away. But anyway, baby, I am looking forward to seeing some of your art.
Day 18--Whatever Tickles Your Fancy
Again? Seriously, there is too much of this whatever tickles your fancy shit. So if what I am about to write gets me in trouble, I am gonna track you down Mr. or Ms. whoever wrote the 30 day meme, and strap you to a chair and make you listen to Cher's Believe over and over and over and over . . .
So I work pretty much everyday. The girlfriend used to have class pretty much everyday. We will look at this at the tail end of the year, when I was working from home once a week and she had no class on Friday. Thus, four days a week, I had to get up for work. Her classes were all in the afternoon. So I would get up in the morning (eventually, ugh, waking up sucks), and get ready, all the while, my girlfriend is just laying there in bed, sleeping. And, before I left, I would reset the alarm for her, usually about an hour (never less, sometimes more), for her to get up. On a random occasion she would get up shortly after I left, but usually (or so I assume), she would sleep the early part of the morning away until the alarm went off.
Now, because we both live in studio apartments, it is highly unfeasible that we go to sleep at different times (unless I pass out wasted; or she does). Thus, we go to bed at the same time. I wake up an hour early.
However, on the weekends, the girlfriend expects me to get up at the same time as her, and go "do stuff." I believe, that I should get to sleep in at least 90 minutes after she gets up on both Sat. and Sun. I am already behind four hours after the week, so I should get to make up some of it on the weekend. Right? So instead of doing stuff, I should get an extra 180 minutes of sleep. Right? Does anyone agree with me?
C'mon; please?
Fine. Whatever. She is getting up 15 minutes before me on Wed. now anyway, so the whole thing is moot.
Day 19--A Talent of Yours
I pretty much lack talent. I cannot sing, but when I start to sing the opening part of Single Ladies by Beyonce, I can crack my girlfriend up.
Not sure why, but when I start singing "All the single ladies; All the single ladies" she cannot help but laugh. Not sure if that is a talent, but, whatever. At the very least, it distracts her from the part of the song about "if you like it, put a ring on it."
Day 20--A Hobby of Yours
Sadly, my main hobby right now, is Farmville. I will now go light myself on fire.
Day 21--A Recipe
HA. I am not a cook. Just tonight, my girlfriend was baking cookies and she called me into the kitchen to taste her dough and tell her "what was missing." Oh, how I laughed and laughed and laughed. I am not gonna know. But she insisted, so I tasted. Here is what happened:
Her: Does it need more sugar?
Me: Definitely. [Tastes good to me, but how can you go wrong with more sugar?]
Her: OK [pours in sugar. Mixes it around. Starts shaking something into it.]
Me: [In response to the shaking] Oh, I think there was plenty of nutmeg in there.
Her: Oh, there was no nutmeg. Right now I am putting in the nutmeg.
Me: Ahh. See, told you I had no clue what I am talking about.
And that is just tonight. Doesn't even get into all the other nights, or even the other events of tonight. Trust me, I love food, and will eat as much or more than the next guy, but when it comes to the technical aspects of fancy cooking, I am like King Triton trying to take over Death Valley.
However, as luck would have it, I made dessert for the pre-thanksgiving thanksgiving that my girlfriend threw for me. I got the recipe from my mom. We call it Apple Crisp. Best part: I made it with apple the the girlfriend and I had picked a week or so prior. Yeah, we had a cute apple picking date. Anyway; if I can make it, so can you:
- grease 8 x 8 square pan; preheat oven to 350 degrees
- peel, core and slice 5-6 cups of apples (usually at least 4 good sized tart apples, could use 6), preferably Granny Smith; fill pan with slices
- mix and sift (if you don't have a sifter, you will need to mix well with a spoon, but you really need a sifter):
1 c flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 c sugar
3/4 tsp salt - break one egg and stir well, then add to dry ingredients and mix well with a fork; sprinkle over apples
- melt 1/3 c butter (margarine) and drizzle over apples and crumbs
- sprinkle with cinnamon
- bake 30-40 minutes (top should be slightly browned and apples tender)
- cool. serve warm or at room temperature, topped with vanilla ice cream if desired.
It is fattening, and Delicious. Even my food critic girlfriend loved it. Or, at least liked it. So she said to me. Now that I am disseminating the recipe to the world at large, she may feel a responsibility to let her true feelings known.
Day 22--A Website
Shiiiiiiiiiit. Most of the websites I visit are located on the right of this here webpage. I highly recommend all of the sites still listed there. A couple are out of date, but I will let you click the links to figure out which ones they are.
But I cannot just recommend A website. Its gonna be several. But I am gonna do it in a way that seems like I am recommending only one.
The Blackhawks revival over the last couple years has been nothing short of remarkable. The dollar pinching, tight-assed owner dies; the eldest son in line for succession decides he wants to focus on the alcohol importing business, leaving the youngest son, the black sheep of the family (obvious Rick Morrissey retarded hyperbole), comes in, changes everything, and suddenly, Hawks are great, fans are digging it, nary a grey cloud to be seen above the UC.
In terms of timing it is true, but Toews and Kane and Keith were all drafted under Dollar Bill's Watch. The Hawks would have been about as good (though would they have kept all three guys like they are gonna do? that is the question?). Unquestionably, home games on TV is very important. I once wrote that Bill Wirtz dying was the closest I have ever been to being happy that someone in my lifetime died. Completely changed the attitude of the franchise. They were on their way though. Rocky Wirtz just ensured that it was coming.
Think those last couple paragraphs were confusing? That is why I do not write about hockey. As far as blackhawk blogs go, Fifth Feather and Third Man In are first rate (Both are also excellent in keeping tabs on the 'Hawks. However, Chris Block, of Third Man In, should write more and do less radio shit (and I cannot get the RSS feed to work, I should e-mail him)).
However, the place to be is Second City Hockey. Their game threads are epic. Reaching the point where they are gonna have to do overflow threads for games like Bleed Cubbie Blue. However, like BCB, they have the weight of SB Nation behind them. I remember when I first checked out SCH, there was no one around. I am certainly not a trendsetter, so I checked in now again. Not sure who wrote it first, but when they ditched the original writer, and brought in Sam Fels and Matt Dirt, and later added McClure [Another Matt] things clicked. They also present the Committed Indian, a fan program that is sold outside the UC, but jackholes who are stuck in foreign lands can subscribe to [like me!]. Alright, so that is my shout out to the SCH crew. Read them. They are awesome; no homo.
Day 23--A Youtube Video
Oddly enough, I am not really a youtuber. Usually when I want a video, I search it on youtube, find what I want, and post it on the blog. I am not really much for dicking around on youtube. I mean, I stumbled on a backdoor at work that allows me to watch videos that are supposed to be blocked by the firewall. But I am Smart.
However, I am also stupid. Still debating that whole law school thing. Sure it got me a job, and if it likely got me my future wife, but still; $120,000 in debt that has to be serviced for the next 20 years (yeah, little did I know in law school, i was not just a whore for the legal profession, but also my debt provider; sucky sucky, five dollar). Anyway, here is a video about how shitty law school is. It did not come out until I was out of law school. Ah well, wouldn't have changed my mind anyway. Probably wont change yours. But, here it is:
So, FYI, you may have to wait awhile for a decent post from me. But I hope that it is usually worth it.
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