Its Too Hot Today

Current Temperature in Alexandria VA: 100 degrees (feels like 103)

Current Temperature in the Cayman Islands: 86 (feels like 96)

Suck on that you fat money laundering Simpsons character living in a tropical paradise. You don't know what hot is.

Well, I guess I shouldn't complain. Its not like I am venturing outdoors today.* No, no, I am just gonna sit here and watch World Cup soccer on one tv and some random muted program on the other. Yes, yes this may seem wasteful, but hear me out.

First, the problem is that ESPN comes in all scrambly on my digital tv hookup. As such, it is impossible to watch that channel. I do not much care because I never watch ESPN anymore (oh noes, I will miss LeBacheorlette!) (and, I can still watch baseball games on ESPN3.com) (So why not watch soccer on ESPN3.com? Umm, because I am trying to write a blog post. And my laptop sucks, it does not like playing video and running any other programs. Also, I have my laptop on my lap and I don't want to burn my legs) (yeah yeah, time for some original jokes).

I have a little tv, that I watch while laying in bed. Even though I live in a studio, I find it necessary to have two TVs approximately 23 feet from each other. And I think today totally vindicates that decision. My little tv is just hooked up to the coaxial cable, not through the digital box, so I can watch ESPN on there no problem.

So while I have two TVs on (as well as a laptop), all my lights are off. And sure, the A/C is on, but the shades are closed. When I did this as a child, my mom called me a mushroom. So, I suppose you could say that I am shrooming today to beat the heat.

Anyway, due to the position of the two tv's, I have had to adjust my usual sitting position, and have moved from my couch to the chair which my girlfriend hates (that's its proper name). This has had an unintended benefit. I am in a much better position. Allow my wicked photoshop MS Paint skills to show you:

As you can see from the drawing (I hope, well probably not, that is why I am going to explain it), from the way my apartment is set up, sitting on the couch is like sitting in a deadzone. the cool air is blown away from the couch on both sides. By sitting on the chair, I not only get a view of both TVs, but also cool air blowing on my head.

So, that is my introduction to some random thoughts:

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I spent the last month ripping though The Wire. It is quite awesome. I am not sure what else to say. It is as good as all those obnoxious, highfalutin TV and pop-culture snobs say it is (sigh, guess I have to start watching Mad Men now too). The last season is a little too out there, but it is still pretty damn good (kinda like knocking Lincoln cause he was too gangly).

I am hopeful that I can get the girl into it. I have a pretty good track record of getting her into my TV Shows. She can now, thanks to me, count among her loves, Arrested Development, The Simpsons, and Firefly. For some reason she remains resistant to Buffy and Angel, even though she will spend two hours researching Twilight characters.

But I think that she will like it. It moves a little slow (she is an up at them kind of girl:
)

but it focuses on things she looooves. For example, the first season centers around the police department and organized crime. She has worked in a prosecutors office. She did a defense work clinic. This is right up her alley. Later seasons focus on politics. She loooves politics. She should watch it. Make sure you tell her to. Cause that would be helpful.
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Spain just scored. Damn YOUUUUUUUUUUUU. Stupid Ponce de Leon. Hmmm, that is the only spanish guy I know. I am so ignorant. And really, I don't even care who wins. Soccer is so boring. I do not know how anyone can watch it.
Yup, that's right, time for more Simpsons video clips:

Damn you copyright laws. or at least copyright claims. Brush up on your fair use defense youtube. Oh well, go here, fast forward to the 2:45 mark, and enjoy the worst Russian dubbing in the history of dubbing.

Bottom line: Soccer is boring. I will never be convinced otherwise.

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The woman gave me blog topics. One of which was the difference between her family and mine. I am not actually going to write a thousand words on that, but she mentioned that me meeting her family would be like the movie Meet the Parents. I said, true, but that her grandmother would try to stab me while I slept. Instead of the "LOLz" I expected, the girlfriend replied, "yeah, she might. She is nuts."

Those are not the most encouraging words I have ever heard in my life.

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I am however, trying to learn greek. It is not going that well. I think I am too old to learn a foreign language. I took three years of Spanish (who incidentally just won. Damn YOU ESPANA!!! May the Netherlands rip out your heart, and feed it to you while it is still bleeding (wow, I really hate Spain. Good thing France didn't make the final, I might have gotten all stabby (also, strong Nationalism is at work even with the crappiest of sports. Hence I can get fired up about soccer results, even if the games put me to sleep))) and about all I remember is "donde esta el coche/ el bano." It is enough to get by. Oh, and when I met the girlfriend, I remembered what Bonita meant.

Needless to say, my foreign language learning history is not encouraging. And then I had a structured class, with a textbook and everything. Now I just have a second hand Rosetta Stone that doesn't even have directions.

I do have the woman though. She decided that she is going to speak to me in greek for ten minutes every night, and I have to respond in kind. And if I do, I get special presents.

Needless to say, I am feeling confident in my ability to learn passable greek. Oh, those special presents. Men are so easy.

*if you are curious why I am not at work today, well let's just say that my system felt the need to clear itself out today. I don't think I could have made it to the train without popping a squat in the nearby woods