Anger Management

So today kinda sucked. First I discovered that the charging port on my Blackberry is busted (thanks to me! Stupid, stupid me), so that put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Until I discovered this: http://shop.crackberry.com/blackberry-charging-pod/5A100A3318.htm , A charging station for my BB. Who knew those little gold tips on the back were actually function. Those crazy Canadians think of everything.

So I trundled down to the local T-Mobile store after work, and of course, they have none in stock. They just had a big sale on them, and they are no more. None of the other 52 T-mobiles in a roughly 12 block radius have them either. So I sauntered down to the Radio Shack, and they of course, just sold theirs the other day and now the product has been discontinued. Fine, whatever, I will just buy the damn thing online I suppose. Whatevs.

But then, I head over to the Macy's to buy some underwear. Briefs to be exact. Because I am getting back on the p90x wagon-train and I need my boys to be comfortable. Well that, and I ripped a couple of pairs of boxers doing Yoga. Because I am THAT damn flexible. For realz. Thing is, I haven't worn briefs in about 20 years. But I notice that Jockey underwear is on sale. So I pick two 3-packs, when I notice that Jockey Underwears are on sale. Buy one get one 50% off! Wooooo! I think to myself. I have really been needing some new white t-shirts. I just threw out one that stunk to high heaven and could not get fresh with even the tidiest of Tides. (I wore for hockey one too many times. I don't smell that bad. In general. After showers at least. For a couple minutes.)

So I pick up two three packs of nice clean white crew-necks. I boogie on down to the cashier table, he rings me up, I put it on the Macy's card, and then do a triple take. Did I just spend $70 on underwear? yes. Yes I did. So, bad mood is back.

From there, I metro on down to the Giant Super Market. To buy some food. But not magic beans. The magic beans at the Giant suck. The girl made me a list (and considering all this food is for her house, she must trust me a lot to buy shit for her. Yeah, that has to be it . . .(or that fact that I eat most of her food could be it too)), so using my new found Supermarket Circumnavigation skills, I hit up the deli, pick out some yellow onions (last night: Me: Are the yellow ones really yellow? Will it be easy to tell them apart from the other onions? Her: Duh, as long as you are not color-blind . . . . [cue evil laughter]), grab some yogurt, didn't flinch when I saw beef broth on the list (though I had no idea what to get, I ended with something in a carboard box, because it looked similar to the chicken broth she used for thanksgiving turkey), and headed to the checkout line.

Of course, I picked the slowest checkout line, the one with the girl in training. But whatever. Things are looking up. Then the total comes in at $88, so I deftly hand over my Giant card and watch the savings appear (I always wait til the end to give them my card so I can see the money go backwards. I can feel my wallet getting fatter as it happens). Final tally, $68.78. Oh yeah, that is right. I spent more on underwear than I did on food for the week. I am the king of money management.

So I get home-ish, the girls home that is, she isn't here. I fire up my laptop, and the internet is on the fritz again. Not the internet really, but the wireless box that I bought for her. Seriously, the thing is a piece of shit. I hate it. So I started cursing, out loud. Fuck you internets and such. Then I just plugged in the cord, adjusted my fantasy line-up and went to work putting away the groceries.

All was going well, until I tried to shove some 100 calorie Party Mix onto the middle shelf in the cabinet, when some chocolate milk mix spilled over all over the damn place. At this point, I said something like "Fuckity Shit" really loudly. And it looks stupid written out, but it really conveyed my emotion at the time.

So I go to the closet to get the vacuum, when I stub my toe. now I said, "OWWWWWWWW FUUUUUUCK!!!" Well not so much said, as yelled very loudly. Then I punched the door. Thankfully the door is ok, but my hand still kinda hurts. So I grab the vacuum, unwind the cord, plug it in, and start vacuuming up delicious chocolate mix, when i go to far and the plug comes out. I cursed more, which if I printed it here, would have been in bold letters (or maybe a bigger font), but instead of going apeshit insane, I decided to rant about all this shit here, and now I am nice and calm and don't see the need for anymore profanity.

I guess that is the end.

Oh, but if you see the woman's neighbors, let them know I just had a bad day. I am really a nice guy.