Progress Report aka Me Fail Good

I turn 30 in just under 6 months. A while ago, I listed all the things I wanted to do before I turned 30. 30 things to be exact. Let us take a look at how I have done:

1. Make list of things to do before turning 30.

BAM! Done and Done. 1 for 1. Batting a thousand. Lets do this!

2. Make list of things to do before turning 40.

Well, 1/2 is still respectable. Small sample size as the baseball stat nerds from Fangraphs will tell you. Batting .500. Still good. Better than Ted Williams ever did, may his head rest in peace.

3. Buckle down and become manager of the softball team. Someone has to do it. Plus, mini-power trip! (And guaranteed aggravation).

Well, now we get into the Ray Kurzweil hemming and hawing about what it means to predict (or in my case, complete) a specified goal. See, I did buckle down and become manager of the team, but alas, I am a shepard without a flock. I sent out some e-mails but could not garner enough interest among my co-workers and associates. Could I have tried harder? Sure. But I did send out an e-mail. I am gonna say, COMPLETED! That is 2 for 3. Let's keep this self-esteem locomotive rolling . . .

4. Go to several museums, see more of the parks, and visit the lesser known monuments of semi-relevant folks who are largely forgotten now. And take pictures.

A couple weeks ago, the girlfriend's younger brother and sister were in town. I drove them all down to go see the Jefferson Memorial. As we were walking there, and back for that matter, I tried to get everyone all excited about the George Mason Memorial. There is no one ever there, and old George looks totally laid back, what with his legs crossed as if he has no balls. No one took the bait, and they all ignored poor George as everyone does. So, sadly, I cannot even say I went up to Mr. Mason and gave him a pat on the shoulder. I also have not been to any museums or parks or any of that shit. But I have a list of places to go. Including little known parks such as Kenilworth and the Rapunzel looking tower at Fort Reno.

But, haven't done any of it yet. Back to .500, 2/4.

5. Tell my girlfriend that she is the most beautiful thing in the world. Because she is, and I do not do it nearly often enough.

I wish I could say it once every five minutes. But I try to say it once a day. She is the ultimate Decider on this one, but for now, I am scoring it for me. With the caveat that I fully intend on keeping it up for the next six months, six years, and six decades. At least.

6. Prove to above gf that my IQ just may be 135 by doing smart things like reading, becoming informed about events and politics in countries that do not start with U (sorry uraguay, have to focus my attention elsewhere), get a better handle on geography, and watching more olbermann and madow.

I got a subscription to the Economist. I have yet to make it halfway through one issue. But I did pay attention to the Glen Beck, Not A Politics Rally, for about ten seconds! I never watch cable news. My knowledge of geography has not changed. This is a bucket of fail. Back to .500, 3/6.

7. Drink less.

At one point, I went two months without a drink (I talked about in my only March 2010 post). I did not make it through the whole three months that I initially hoped for (thus losing the bet with the woman). But hey, two months is pretty good. I still do some drinking. But it is less. WIN!

8. A lot less.

But it ain't a lot less. I thought about giving me the point under this too because I have been drinking less (in the aggregate, I did drink a lot the week the woman came back for the summer, but being that she was flanked by two kids and I had to see her during the day but sleep at home by myself, I figure some excessive drinking is acceptable. That was also the week the woman at the little store in my work building made fun of me for buying 5-hour energy drinks every day that week), but I am not in the 2-3 drinks, 2-3 times a week category that I think is necessary for this category. I may never be, but that is what "A LOT LESS" would entail.

Oh, that .500 average, it is singing my song.

9. Become a more productive and efficient worker. Just cause there is a deadline doesn't mean I have until then to get my shit finished.
Answer after the jump (due to auto-play video, FYI)


So, that is a no.

10. See a play.

Nope.

11. Become more ambitious.

Yeah right.

12. See three plays.

See again, Mr. Burns Laughing above.

13. Invest myself in learning about my gf's culture, ie, learning the language.

I tried, for a while. But it is really hard. And I was spending a lot of time doing the p90x. Sure that still left time for learning Greek. But I never really had the mental capacity to get started on it. I still intend to. But for now, fail. I am in a slump here. 4/13.

14. Learn a foreign language (it is tough to get 30 things).

Every now and then I bust out a couple words in Greek or Spanish. Cannot say that I have learned them though. Especially considering I wanted to make a joke of some sort in either language just now and have no confidence in my ability to type it out in a way that a native speaker who is more fluent in english than me could understand. Shit, I still cannot say paralito right, and we have been making that joke for two weeks.

15. Help people if they look like they need it.

Several weeks ago, these two guys, or three or four, not sure how many it was, were moving into an apartment on my floor. And for whatever reason I happened to pass them in the hall like 75 times. Well not that many, but I rarely leave my apartment, but on this day, I took out the trash, got my mail, went to the store, went to the other store, and maybe ran another errand, but I every time I walked out of my apartment, these guys were in the hall sweating, moving shit in. I felt a little bad, but I was busy cleaning my apartment and watching The Simpsons, so clearly I could not help them. But maybe I should have. I am not very neighborly. Or nice. (but come on, the did have a ton of shit, one offer to help would have monopolized four hours of my time. For serious).

Another fail.

16. Talk to my parents and sisters more often.

Fail. Had I followed this one, I could have saved my parents $5,000. COULD have. No guarantees. But still, something to think about.

17. Play less farmville/cafe world/mafia wars.

I never play these anymore (unless my desperate girl calls asking me to harvest her soon to be rotten strawberries. And I am never to happy about that). Nice to have one in the win column again. Stats? Ugh . . . 5/17. .294. Respectable batting average. Pretty crappy OBA though.

18. Read at least one journal article that I have no hope of comprehending each week (like something from the journal of applied physics)

I read Texts From Last Night and F My Life everyday. That is a kind of a journal of social behavior that I have no sense of comprehending. Right?

19. Learn how to dance. Wait, I should just learn how to get rhythm first.

This guy is still better than me:


20. Write more.

Sorry.

21. Set up a pandora station and listen to new music. I am so out of touch. Now I know how parents feel. I also feel old.

I acquired a bunch of music the other day. Including new bands like Cage the Elephant and Sufjan Stevens. Well, Sufjan ain't new, but he is interesting. And I really like this band AM Taxi.

I giving this to me because I am sad with my failings. 6/21.

22. Save some money.

If by save money, you mean run up my credit card debt, HELLS YEAH!!!!

But I am guessing you didn't mean that. Course, I wrote that goal, so that could be what I meant. How are you to know.

23. Take a random half day to surprise the gf with flowers dinner and the best damned backrub ever.

Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh. working on it.

24. Learn how to think two moves ahead in checkers.

I have been testing my think ahead abilities with this version of tower defense. I am still no Bobby Fisher. Cause I am still alive.

25. Buy a new hockey stick.

Ooooo. I did this! Cost me $200. But my slapshot has improved by more than that. I think I may have wrote about this, but who knows. So hard to keep track of one post a month. But yeah, it is a kick ass stick. Next stick I plan on buying--This one for Wii. It is less than $200. So there is that.

(Oddly enough, only reason I am writing this post is because the woman bought me a Wii game tonight, but won't let me see what is (or play it, natch), until I make a blog post. A good post at that (still on the borderline I am sure). However, she is not here right now. Her purse containing the game is, but I promised not to look. Stupid promise. Rather she is outside trying to get the best signal for her phone because she is talking to some Troop in Afghanistan who is recovering from being shot. I am ok with it. However, I have no doubt that her clearest signal is coming from where we set Steve free. Because Steve was awesome. I miss him. *sniff)

26. Get a passport.

Have not done this yet. I Love America. Why would I want to leave?

27. Go to a nationals game.

Went to Strasburg's second start! WOOOOOT!

Now at: 8/27, or almost 30%!

28. Go to a capitals game.

Single game tickets go on sale Friday! (or was it last Friday. Shit!)

29. Buy rogaine.

Going on vacation to the beach this week or next week (oddly, still up in the air. Personally hoping for both). My bald spot will get burned.

30. Don't worry about making my life too complicated. This is the only one I get.

Its all good in the hood.

9 out of 30 isn't bad. Just about 30%. Still have plenty of time to take care of the rest of this shit.