Dueling Snores

Right now it is about 11:00 p.m. I am exhausted, sitting on the bed in a cheap hotel somewhere in bumfuck Pennsylvania. I am in the midst of officially moving to Virginia. Only three hours away, hopefully. I am dead tired, having had four hours of sleep last night and having spent 10 hours today wrestling with a 14 foot U-Haul.

My parents, unable to see their only son finally leave the nest after 27 years*, insisted on coming along. Sort of. I did need them to drive my car down, but they were coming no matter what. So we got a hotel room, to spend the night because I did not want to spend 14 hours straining my wrists keeping the U-Haul in its lane (though my right wrist is much stronger now thank you). We got, or my mom got and I did nothing to prevent, one room. I was in the room when the reservations were made, and I should have said, "Hey, I will take my own room." But I did not.

This sucks for two reasons.

First, my parents are in my room. It is not like I would have ordered porn or anything, but it is a little, . . . . I mean, I should be self-sufficient by now. If I want my own room, I should just get my own room. Sadly, I am not to that point yet. Keeping another $75 off my credit cards now will slightly help me in the long run. Plus, apparantly you can smoke in PA hotels. My folks quit six years ago. Now, with them both sleeping, I am going to have to sneak out to smoke so I do not wake them up.

Second, I doubt I will wake them up. My parents snore. I mean, they SNORE. It is loud. This is not something you think about at 7 o'clock when your mom makes a hotel reservation. But now that the cacophony of nasal and throat sounds drown out the Olympics gymnastics announcer, I recall the last time I was in a hotel room with them, and I lied awake for three hours listing to a nasal symphony.

So that is what I am. I dude sitting in the dark, with only the light of the laptop and television, listening to his parents snore, as he tries to strike it out on his own.

This will not end well.



*Four years of out-of-state undergrad, two years living 3o minutes from my hometown, and three years at out-of-state law school evidently does not qualify as "leaving home."